Title pun: 100-yard dash
Simpsons episode: "Lisa's First Word"
Year: 1984, 1992
Synopsis: At the Olympic Games, a fanfare is heard and the theme for Chariots of Fire plays. Scratchy participates in the 100-yard dash event. Shortly before the starting gun is sounded, Itchy drives a spike though Scratchy's tail with a sledgehammer, pinning him to the ground. Scratchy takes off skinless and wins the race. Later, his skeleton is shown on a Wheaties box.
Title pun: 500-yard dash
Seen in: The Simpsons: Hit & Run (video game)
This episode, which seems to be loosely based on 100-Yard Gash, starts with Itchy surreptitiously injecting Scratchy with steroids just as the race is about to begin. At first, this makes Scratchy faster and stronger, allowing him to circle the earth several times in the time it takes Itchy to almost reach the finish line. However, the exertion takes its toll on Scratchy, and his heart literally explodes mere feet/centimetres away from the finish line. The final scene shows Itchy on the winner's stand, holding Scratchy's head.
Title pun: Five Easy Pieces
Simpsons episode: Butterfinger commercial.
Synopsis: Itchy pokes a stethoscope into Scratchy's ear, then chomps roughly on a Butterfinger. Scratchy then shatters into pieces.
Title pun: Ah, Wilderness!
Simpsons episode: "Boy-Scoutz n the Hood"
Synopsis: Itchy nails Scratchy to the ground and uses him as a tent in order to shelter himself from the thunder storm. Scratchy is struck by lightning multiple times while Itchy sleeps beneath him.
Title pun: "Ain't I a stinker?"
Simpsons episode: "Homer the Father"
Synopsis: Scratchy is working as a bee keeper. Itchy sucks up some bees using a vacuum cleaner, puts the nozzle in Scratchy's mouth and changes the setting from "suck" to "blow". It shows an inside view of the bees forming a colony and making honey in Scratchy's stomach. Itchy shoves Scratchy into a cage with a grizzly bear. The bear claws Scratchy in half and eats the rest of the honey.
Title pun: Bang the Drum Slowly
Simpsons episode: "Stark Raving Dad"
Synopsis: It is Scratchy's birthday. As a "gift", Itchy puts a bomb into a box and Scratchy screams, allowing Itchy to pull his tongue out and use it to wrap the box. Scratchy's tongue snaps back into his mouth and the box lodges itself in his throat. It explodes, launching his head and party hat into the air. His hat lands first on his neck, then his head falls and is impaled on the hat.
Title pun: Battle of Waterloo
Simpsons episode: "The Wandering Juvie"
Synopsis: Itchy and Scratchy lead armies against each other. As they run towards each other on the battlefield, they pull out bigger and better weapons. As they collide, the episode cuts to Itchy declaring an end to "the spectacular 3D blood and gore!" The victorious mice celebrate.
Title pun: The Eagle Has Landed
Simpsons episode: "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show"
Synopsis: Itchy and Scratchy are in a car on their way to a fireworks factory. On the way they run into their new "friend" Poochie (voiced by Homer Simpson). Poochie raps about himself - declaring that he is half Joe Camel and one-third Fonzie - and finishes by breaking the fourth wall by telling children watching to "always recycle... to the extreme!". Poochie ends the cartoon by shouting "Bust it!," taking Itchy and Scratchy's car, and driving past the fireworks factory.
Title pun: Black Swan
Simpsons episode: "The Ten-Per-Cent Solution"
Synopsis: Itchy and Scratchy perform ballet. Itchy spins Scratchy so fast that only half of his skeleton is left by the time Itchy finishes.
Title pun: Leader of the Pack
Simpsons episode: "C.E. D'oh"
Synopsis: "Rock Around the Clock" is set in the late 1950s. Officer Scratchy minds his own business when troublemaker Itchy chains his tail to the parking meter, then drives by in a little car, getting Scratchy's attention. Scratchy takes off on his motorcycle, chasing Itchy, his skin gets torn off, his body and the song stops. Scratchy panics and lands in a bloody mess. Two mice deliver Scratchy in an ambulance to the airplane that The Big Bopper, Ritchie Valens, and Buddy Holly are riding. In fact, they have turned into vampires, and the plane (a V-tailed Beech Bonanza 35, the same in which the three were killed in real life) crashes.
Title pun: A Kiss Before Dying
Simpsons episode: "Today I Am a Clown"
Synopsis: Klezmer music plays. Itchy lies on a table between a congregation of Jewish mice and Scratchy, who says a Hebrew prayer. Scratchy pulls out a scalpel. Itchy jumps up on Scratchy's head, pulls his eyeballs out, and throws them out the window. Attacking Itchy, Scratchy cuts off his ears, then his muzzle, and cuts himself to pieces. Itchy picks them up and puts them through a mincer (the eyeballs reappear) and applies the product to the end of a tube, then blows it in a fireplace as if it were made of glass, turning it into a goblet. He wraps it and stamps on it while the other mice clap, shouting "Mousel Tov!"
Title pun: The Buck Stops Here
Simpsons episode: "Burns' Heir"
Synopsis: Itchy and Scratchy take a tour of the federal mint. Itchy clobbers Scratchy with a bag full of money and prints Scratchy into money. Itchy circulates the Scratchy bills to smoking dogs at a tycoon convention, who burn them to light their cigars. The Illuminati symbol on the back of the burning dollar suddenly looks at the fire and screams without its mouth moving, ending the short.
Title pun: "Burning Down the House"
Simpsons episode: "Homer Goes to College"
Synopsis: Itchy is tied to a pole and Scratchy puts unusually large explosives around Itchy, including two nuclear bombs. Just as Scratchy finally lights up all explosives, he calls for a taxi and drives away to avoid being killed by the explosion. Just as the mega-explosion is about to blast Itchy, the television is accidentally unplugged. The cartoon is over when the TV comes back on, and Krusty declares that the show is quite likely to be forbidden from ever airing the episode again.
Title pun: Better Off Dead
Simpsons episode: "Little Girl in the Big Ten"
Synopsis: Farmer Itchy runs out of butter. As farmer Scratchy visits, Itchy shoves him into a cow's mouth, and an inside view of the cow shows Scratchy being digested by its four stomachs. Itchy milks the digested Scratchy out of the cow and pours the milk into a butter churn to create his own "I Can't Believe It's Not Scratchy!" butter. When he spreads this on his toast, Scratchy's eyeballs are seen, and after saying a quick prayer Itchy chomps down on the toast.
Title pun: "Candle in the Wind"
Simpsons episode: "Treehouse of Horror IX"
Synopsis: In a segment of a Halloween special, Itchy decapitates Scratchy's head and prepares to use it as a jack-o'-lantern. However, Bart and Lisa are trapped in the cartoon and are caught laughing at Scratchy's pain. As a result, the cat and mouse duo try to teach the Simpson kids a lesson.
Title pun: Ratatouille
Simpsons episode: "Pay Pal"
Synopsis: Itchy controls the mind of Scratchy, a chef in a restaurant frequented by cats, making him cut his intestines with a knife and fry them, remove his eyeballs to stir them and roll them into the cups, put nitrogen on them and put the cooked intestines and the eyeballs on the dish. Taking the finished food on a cart in a room where other dead cats rest on the floor, Itchy sends the cats in the restaurant the dish, which they eat. Itchy then holds up a sign that says "You're eating cat." Disgusted, the cats all throw up, causing a massive buildup of dangerously explosive vomit, in which all the cats drown.
Title pun: "Cat Scratch Fever"
Simpsons episode: "Radio Bart"
Synopsis: Itchy leaves Scratchy a suicide note and thinks Itchy wants to take his own life by jumping into a well, and jumps in to save the mouse. Itchy never did though and Scratchy is eaten by a crocodile inside the well. As Scratchy's ghost rises upwards, Itchy takes out his gun and shoots him.
Simpsons episode: "Labor Pains"
Synopsis: As Harry Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle" plays, Itchy opens the door. He sees Scratchy (who was a black kitten) with a sign that says "Love Me". Itchy adopts him as his son and raises him with great love and affection. He dutifully sees his adopted son through various milestones. After many years the middle-aged Scratchy visits his adoptive father, Itchy gives him a present, a bomb, which blows Scratchy's head off. Itchy sheds a genuine tear, which he wipes away.
Title pun: The King's Speech
Simpsons episode: "The Ten-Per-Cent Solution"
Synopsis: Scratchy is reading a speech for the cats that are at war in an animal-esque World War II. Itchy forces Scratchy to swallow some hot marbles, which form bleeding holes in his body and Scratchy screams in pain. Adolf Hitler comes in the room and flattens Scratchy's remains.
Title pun: Circus of the Stars
Simpsons episode: "The Bart Wants What It Wants"
Synopsis: Itchy and Scratchy are trapeze artists in a circus. While swinging towards each other, Scratchy hanging with his hands, Itchy with his legs, Itchy pulls out two knives and cuts Scratchy's hands off. Scratchy falls on the safety net, which slices him into dices. An elephant standing there starts eating the pieces of Scratchy.
Title pun: Come Fly with Me
Simpsons episode: "He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs"
Synopisis: Scratchy is on a plane filled with Itchy-like mice. A large Itchy gives him less room. A baby Itchy screams in his ears, making them bleed. An Itchy flight attendant comes by and Scratchy's hand gets cut off. An Itchy passenger in front of him pulls the seat back, squeezing him. The attendant opens the luggage case and various weapons come out and attack Scratchy. The attendant says the passengers have to spend three more hours on the tarmac and Scratchy screams in horror.
Title pun: Dazed and Confused
Simpsons episode: "The Front"
Synopsis: Itchy is hitting Scratchy, relatively gently, on the head with a mallet. Itchy laughs each time as Scratchy says "Ow". At the end, they both say "Kids! Say no to drugs!" and smile.
Title pun: Def Comedy Jam
Simpsons episode: "In Marge We Trust"
Synopsis: Scratchy is an ear trauma patient. Itchy uses his stethoscope with his ears and stretches it until he reaches a French nuclear testing site. When the bomb explodes at the sound of a "Maintenant!", the sound travels through the stethoscope until it reaches Scratchy and makes his head explode; another patient leans over to shush him.
Title pun: The expression 'death warmed over'
Simpsons episode: "Krusty the Clown"
Synopsis: Itchy places Scratchy on the stove, cooking him and turning him into a kebab. He then slices his meat and eyes and serves them to the clients, putting hot sauce on it, making Scratchy scream in agony.
(this was not edited to ruin or defeat the purpose of this episode list)
Title pun: iPod playlist
Simpsons episode: "Mypods and Boomsticks"
Synopsis: Itchy cranks up Scratchy's myPod volume so loud, with the volume bar breaking out of the device's walls itself, that it melts his brain. Itchy replaces Scratchy's brain with that of Albert Einstein. Scratchy invents the atomic bomb, then, upon realizing its destructive power, he invents a time machine and goes back in time to stop himself from inventing it. Just as he goes to warn himself, he realizes it's a trap; Itchy has replaced the old Scratchy with an A-bomb decoyed as Scratchy. Itchy watches from a distance as the A-bomb explodes, then enters his own time machine and heads for Studio 54, circa the 1970s.
Title pun: The Broadway Melody
Simpsons episode: "How Munched is That Birdie in the Window?"
Synopsis: A trial with Itchy as judge and a bunch of Scratchys as jurors is held against a dog, charged with crimes against other animals. Edward G. Robinson appears and shoots the dog with a machine gun, Will Rogers hangs the dog with his lasso, W. C. Fields appears to drink the dog's blood, Harpo Marx cuts the dog's tongue, and Bing Crosby appears and hits the dog with a bat, something the judge and the jurors all enjoy. This is a parody of the Mickey Mouse short Pluto's Judgement Day.
Title pun: Downton Abbey
Simpsons episode: "The Winter of His Content"
Synopsis: A group of cats, with a few mice, all apparently in a state of staid, formal equanimity, are seen in a fancy drawing room. An elderly mouse, looking to be in very bad shape, is wheeled into the drawing room. After a few minutes, the elderly mouse revives himself and the mice immediately murder all the cats.
Title pun: Apocalypse Now
Simpsons episode: "Lisa the Vegetarian"
Synopsis: Scratchy is dining at a restaurant and orders a steak. Itchy is the waiter and while Scratchy is putting on his napkin Itchy sneaks under the table and shaves off a section of Scratchy's fur pulling out his stomach without him noticing. Itchy serves it as rare steak decorated with an olive. Scratchy starts to eat it but the chunk he chews on goes down his throat and out his stomach back onto the plate. This situation is repeated three more times. Itchy hands Scratchy the bill, of $100. When Scratchy sees the price, he shrieks and his head explodes.
Title pun: Field of Dreams
Simpsons episode: "Like Father, Like Clown"
Synopsis: Scratchy and his son are playing catch in the park. They are killed by Itchy and his son with a combine. Itchy and his son play catch using Scratchy's head as the ball.
Title pun: Fly Me to the Moon
Simpsons episodes: "Homer the Heretic", "Another Simpsons Clip Show"
Years: 1992 and 1994
Synopsis: Scratchy reads of a space launch in the paper. Itchy sneaks into his house, and pulls his tongue out like a fishing-line, runs outside and ties it to the spaceship. It takes off, with Scratchy's tongue unwinding to enormous proportions until the vessel orbits the moon twice and ties a knot around it with the tongue. This pulls the moon towards the earth, and Scratchy only noticing now, panics and hides in his closet. The moon crushes his house with him inside. Inside NASA headquarters, 'Itchy' mice celebrate a successful mission and drink champagne.
Title pun: Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
Simpsons episode: "Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily"
Synopsis: Scratchy is reading a newspaper. As he hears his doorbell ring, he sees Itchy at the door, disguised as a baby. The minute Scratchy picks up Itchy, Itchy breaks a glass bottle in half and stabs Scratchy with it. Itchy steals Scratchy's TV and runs off, with Scratchy saying his last words: "Why, my only son?"
Title pun: Four Weddings and a Funeral
' Simpsons episode: "A Star Is Burns"
Synopsis: Scratchy is getting married to a girl cat. During the ceremony, Itchy replaces the bride with one made entirely of explosives, and lights the fuses. Scratchy kisses his newlywed wife and feeds her wedding cake. After this Scratchy as the father is sitting on a sofa next to his wife, while their two children, both half-cat and half-explosive, are playing on the floor. Finally an old Scratchy, with his wife, still fuses ignited, sits calmly on the porch of an old folks home in rocking chairs. His wife explodes, taking Scratchy with her. Old Itchy runs to the scene, laughing at Scratchy's burnt remains, but instantly grunts and grasps his chest, dying from a heart attack.
Title pun: From Here to Eternity
Simpsons episode: "HOMR"
Year: circa early 1960s
Synopsis: Itchy and Scratchy are kissing on a beach and Itchy drags in a shark and Scratchy kisses it instead. The shark tears him apart and the director of the show stops it for the commercials. While advertising Laramie Cigarettes, Itchy starts smoking a cigarette and a mutilated Scratchy soon joins him. The episode ends with Itchy, Scratchy and their Rochester-esque butler all coughing up their lungs.
Simpsons episode: "The Cad and the Hat"
Synopsis: Itchy, disguised as Garfield, offers a bomb disguised as a piece of lasagna to Scratchy, who eats it. Itchy takes off his disguise and detonates the bomb, and Scratchy explodes.
Even though it is Itchy wearing a Garfield costume, Scratchy does not seem surprised that he refers to him as his "cousin". This would imply that Scratchy and the "real" Garfield are canonically related.
Title pun: Terms of Endearment
Simpsons episode: "Marge in Chains"
Synopsis: Scratchy visits Dr. Itchy and wants Itchy to do a tonsillectomy exam on him. Itchy opens Scratchy's mouth and ties Scratchy's organs to a brick and tosses the brick out the window. Scratchy dives out the window and puts his organs back where they belong, and lands on a cactus.
Title pun: The Glass Menagerie
Simpsons episode: "Girly Edition"
Synopsis: Scratchy applies for an apprenticeship with Itchy, who runs a store selling glass sculptures. Itchy accepts the offer, and tosses him into a kiln. After Itchy blows Scratchy into a glass "NO VACANCY" sign for a motel, he sits and admires his finished work while sipping a drink with a female mouse.
Title pun: Good kids, bad choices (a phrase sometimes used by parenting advisors)
Simpsons episode: "Bart After Dark"
Synopsis: Scratchy is a guest on a talk show. "Says mouse friend mistreats him" reads the caption. Backstage, Itchy feels he is the victim, and goes on-stage with a broken bottle. Scratchy "doesn't know slashing is imminent", but panics when reading this last caption. Itchy comes onto the stage and attempts to kill Scratchy with the bottle, but the episode is interrupted by Kent Brockman.
Title pun: Great Wall of China
Simpsons episode: "Angry Dad: The Movie"
Synopsis: Styled as per a martial-arts movie (and spoken primarily in Chinese with English subtitles), the plot proceeds in the following chapter-based format:
Chapter 1: Scratchy and his father harvest rice in medieval China. Emperor Itchy rides up to them and demands Scratchy's father's hat. When the old cat denies him, Itchy slices his head off. Scratchy vows revenge.
Chapter 2: Scratchy seeks out a monk to train him in the arts of warfare. He is ultimately deemed ready after several years of training.
Chapter 3: At last, Scratchy arrives at a (now-elderly) Itchy's palace. Though Emperor Itchy warns him to "Enter … and die", Scratchy gains the upper hand early and is about to dismember his foe when his mentor appears behind him and reminds him that a warrior can have no greater weapon than a capacity for mercy. Scratchy thanks his master for freeing him from his desire for revenge that enslaved him. However, the monk promptly sheds his costume and reveals himself to be another Itchy mouse who had been standing on the other's shoulders. The Itchies dice Scratchy into several small pieces, and the two mice eat him with chopsticks.
Title pun: Hold that line, college football cheer in common use before World War II
Simpsons episode: "Itchy & Scratchy & Marge"
Synopsis: The duo is playing football. Itchy throws the ball to Scratchy, which is actually a bomb. It explodes, and several players, standing inside the crater left by the bomb, try to catch the ball.
Title pun: Hoop Dreams
Simpsons episode: "Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life"
Synopsis: A basketball game between teams of Itchies and Scratchies is about to begin. As a zebra referee tosses the ball into the air for the opening jump, the center Itchy takes out a knife and decapitates the center Scratchy, whose head is caught by another Itchy, who tosses it to a teammate. The teammate jumps to attach the Scratchy head below the rim of the basket with its mouth open to conform to the rim. Another Itchy dribbles down the court and removes the skin of the basketball to reveal a lit bomb which he slam dunks into the Scratchy head. The bomb falls through the neck opening of the headless Scratchy and explodes, sending body parts scattering. The Itchy mice cheer. As another Scratchy (cat) watches in disgust, an Itchy decapitates him and, with the help of a teammate, lifts him and pours his blood over the head of the Itchy coach.
Title pun: House of Pain/This Old House
Simpsons episode: "Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk"
Synopsis: Itchy impales and kills Scratchy, who is tied to a wooden column, with a nail. A picture of the duo hangs ironically on the column.
Title pun: I'm getting married in the morning, first line of "Get Me to the Church on Time" from My Fair Lady
Simpsons episode: "Bart's Friend Falls in Love"
Synopsis: It's Scratchy's wedding, and unfortunately, Itchy is the minister. After the wedding, Itchy uses his reverend hat as a boomerang to sever first the bride's head, which causes Scratchy to scream, and then severs Scratchy's head. Itchy drives off in his car with the heads of Scratchy and his wife.
Title pun: Fritz the Cat
Simpsons episode: "The Day the Violence Died"
Synopsis: An X-rated 1970s-style I&S cartoon. Scratchy is attempting to pick up a prostitute when he sees Itchy driving by in a car. When Itchy gets out of the car, Itchy pours gasoline on him and sets him alight with a cigarette. While Scratchy is burning Itchy drives off with the prostitute.
Simpsons episode: "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie"
Synopsis: Itchy shaves Scratchy's fur off, scribbles his face with a marker and blows his brain out. Also shown are some "scenes" from the movie: Itchy has Scratchy tied to a log on a conveyor belt, moving toward a circular saw, and Itchy dresses up some dynamite as a "female cat", who Scratchy falls in love with. At the end of the trailer, a voiceover says: "53 percent new footage".
Title pun: Oswald the Lucky Rabbit/Mouse in Manhattan, one of the first Tom and Jerry cartoons
Simpsons episode: "The Day the Violence Died"
Synopsis: This is the first Itchy cartoon in silent film style parodying both the Tom and Jerry short "Mouse in Manhattan" and the Oswald the Lucky Rabbit name. The plot revolves Itchy (looking noticeably different due to this cartoon being drawn by Itchy's original creator Chester J. Lampwick) strutting around Manhattan while decides to hurt people throughout the day. The victims include an Irish man (who is hit by a light bulb and rung through an old washing machine starting with his beard) and Theodore Roosevelt (decapitated with an axe). Itchy winks at the screen and the cartoon ends with credits posed by Lampwick.
Title pun: It's a Wonderful Life
Simpsons episode: "White Christmas Blues"
Synopsis: In a monochrome animation, Scratchy runs through a town, and passing Itchy's house, he wishes a merry Christmas to Itchy, who decapitates Scratchy with Christmas lights and pulls out his eye with a nutcracker. Krusty comes standing in front of the TV screen and tells us he's blocking all violence because of "modern sensitivity". The cartoon resumes with Itchy stabbing Scratchy's body with a Christmas tree and gut wrenches him. Krusty says, "I've never watched one of these sober! I have to get this bloodbath off my kids' show!" He tosses a pie at the camera and in the message, "We'll be right back", Itchy rips out Scratchy's spine and throws it under the word back. Krusty yells in frustration, "Dammit".
Simpsons episode: "Itchy & Scratchy & Marge"
Synopsis: After bonking each other with mallets, Itchy stabs Scratchy with a knife, then chases him with an eggbeater.
Title pun: Critical condition
Simpsons episode: "The Heartbroke Kid"
Synopsis: Scratchy visits a mouse cardiologist (Itchy). When a female mouse brings Scratchy in for a stress test, Itchy speeds up the treadmill, building up Scratchy's stress, to the point Scratchy has a heart attack. Itchy takes out Scratchy's heart and the heart runs all over the treatment room. Itchy catches the heart, sticks dynamite in it and puts the heart back in Scratchy's belly. Itchy shows a picture of him with Scratchy's wife, causing Scratchy to die. During Scratchy's funeral, the dynamite explodes, killing all the cat mourners.
Title pun: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Simpsons episode: "Brother from the Same Planet"
Synopsis: Itchy and Scratchy are at a bowling alley. Itchy pulls Scratchy's tongue into the ball returner. Itchy lights a bomb and bowls it down to the end. As the bomb comes back up the returner, Scratchy tries sawing his tongue in half to save himself, but the bomb appears before him and explodes. Itchy sells Scratchy's remains, labeled "Cat Ligaments" and "Cat Intestines", to dogs who are seen eating them.
Title pun: Koyaanisqatsi: Life out of Balance
Simpsons episode: "Stealing First Base"
Synopsis: At the Grand Canyon, Itchy cuts Scratchy's head off and throws it over the edge. Scratchy's headless body begins to chase the severed head. After a while, it reaches the Hoover Dam, and is carried of by an eagle. After much time passes (shown by a set of time lapses), Scratchy's body finally finds its head, which has two eagle eggs planted in its neck. When he puts the head back on his body, a pair of baby eagles burst out of his eyeballs. Itchy shoots Scratchy with a shotgun, splattering his guts everywhere.
Title pun: A Trip to the Moon
Simpsons episode: "Moe Letter Blues"
Synopsis: Itchy (the director) and Scratchy (the camera operator) film a silent movie where some mice are headed to the moon but there are problems. First Scratchy runs out of film. Itchy cuts open Scratchy's intestines and feeds it into the camera. While the camera is rolling, the mice get into the rocket ship. At a critical moment, the moon falls. To solve this problem, Itchy decapitates Scratchy's head and uses it as the new moon. Filming resumes for a final time, Itchy launches the rocket and it lands on the moon taking out Scratchy's right eye in the process.
Title pun: Let them eat cake
Simpsons episode: "Bart Gets an F"
Synopsis Scratchy is chasing Itchy, armed with a sword, until Itchy cuts off Scratchy's head using a guillotine. Itchy sticks dynamite in Scratchy's mouth and Scratchy's head explodes.
Title pun: Little Shop of Horrors
Simpsons episode: The Front
Synopsis: Scratchy goes to a barber shop for a haircut, with Itchy as the barber. In the first sketch, Itchy is about to cut Scratchy's hair, but cuts Scratchy's head off instead with the razor and dances around a red, bloody fountain on Scratchy's body. In the second sketch, Itchy pours barbecue sauce on Scratchy, whose head is eaten by ants which Itchy releases on him, leaving behind only his skull. Itchy propels Scratchy and his chair into the air, and into Elvis Presley's television. Elvis comments that "This show ain't no good", pulls out a revolver, and shoots the TV.
Simpsons episode: "Itchy & Scratchy & Marge", "So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show"
Year: 1990 and 1993
Synopsis: Itchy blows Scratchy's head off with a bazooka. Later, Itchy hits Scratchy in the back of the head with a sledgehammer which knocks out his eyes, then inserting two cherry bombs in their places which somehow work as eyes. Scratchy goes to the bathroom to comb his hair when he notices the bombs which blow him up.
Title pun: Moo goo gai pan
Simpsons episode: "Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore"
Synopsis: Scratchy notices an "All You Can Eat Cat Special" at a Chinese restaurant, but when he goes in, he finds out he's on the menu! Itchy fries and chops him up, sprinkles soy sauce, red pepper and MSG on his pieces, and is eaten by the customers (all mice), leaving his head (showing a relieved Scratchy). An hour later, hungry again, the mice customers eat Scratchy's head, leaving only a bare skull.
Title pun House M.D.
Simpsons episode: Postcards from the Wedge
Synopsis: Scratchy comes to the clinic because of a sore paw. Itchy (with a beard reminiscent of that of Dr. House) first saws off his legs, then cuts out his heart, all with "Teardrop" playing in the background.
Title pun: My Funny Valentine
Simpsons episode: "I Love Lisa"
Synopsis: Itchy and Scratchy give each other Valentine's Day gifts. Scratchy gives Itchy a heart-shaped card. Itchy gives Scratchy the cat's own real heart. At home, Scratchy reads a newspaper saying he needs a heart to stay alive but dies before he can reach it on his mantelpiece.
Title pun: My Dinner with Andre
Simpsons episode: "Homer Defined"
Synopsis: Itchy and Scratchy are dining at a fine restaurant and are about to drink wine. Scratchy drinks the wine first, thus learning that Itchy actually gave him carbolic acid. After noticing his lower body is nothing but his own skeleton, Itchy removes the cloth covering the label "ACID" and throws his "wine" into Scratchy's eyes. Screaming in pain, Scratchy runs into the street, where he is run over by a streetcar.
Title pun: "O Sole Mio"
Simpsons episode: "When Flanders Failed"
Synopsis: Scratchy is at an Italian-type restaurant, and Itchy serves Scratchy spaghetti with a bomb. Scratchy eats the food, and while swallowing, notices the fuse. Panicking, Scratchy runs out, hits his head to the door frame, and is beheaded. The rest of his body runs out and explodes, the waiter slips on his head, and Itchy laughs.
Title pun: Up
Simpsons episode: "Loan-a Lisa"
Synopsis: Scratchy marries a female cat. They view clouds shaped like Disney/Pixar characters from a hill, become elderly, repeat the cloud-watching sequence in elderly form but are both shot dead by Itchy. Scratchy's wife's name is revealed to be Mrs. Scratchy on her gravestone. They fly up towards heaven but get sucked into a vacuum cleaner by Itchy. He throws out the vacuum bag and sets it on fire with the remains of Scratchy and Mrs. Scratchy inside.
Title pun: par for the course
Simpsons episode: "Blame It on Lisa"
Synopsis: Itchy and Scratchy play golf. Itchy uses Scratchy's head as the golf ball, which he hits to the moon.
Title pun: Pinocchio
Simpsons episode: "Itchy & Scratchy Land"
Synopsis: Scratchy, a woodworker, has just finished making a wooden puppet that looks just like Itchy. Scratchy tells the wooden doll (Pinnitchy-o) not to lie. Pinnitchy-o promises that he will never hurt Scratchy. Immediately afterwards, however, Pinnitchy-o's wooden nose grows several feet, its razor-sharp point impaling Scratchy's head. Scratchy screams in pain.
Title pun: Planet of the Apes
Simpsons episode: "Bart of Darkness"
Synopsis: This season finale episode of The Itchy & Scratchy Show was featured on the season finale of The Krusty the Klown Show. The plot involves Itchy placing Scratchy behind a cinderblock wall and sealing him inside. Three millennia later, futuristic Itchy-like mice (with large beating bulging heads with visible brains) open up the wall with lasers. They find Scratchy now feeble, emaciated and bearded. The mice use their superior knowledge to help Scratchy back to health, and dress and groom him with their telekinetic powers. Lastly, he is taken to a large Flavian-esque amphitheater where all the mice smile indulgently. They use their telekinetic powers to launch blades and knives at Scratchy, dismembering him as the audience applauds.
Simpsons episode: "Itchy & Scratchy & Marge"
Synopsis: This lovey-dovey Itchy and Scratchy cartoon is the antithesis to the violent Itchy and Scratchy cartoons. Itchy and Scratchy drink lemonade on the porch, dancing together and at the end of the episode, Scratchy reads Itchy a bedtime story. It features special introductory titles with a new theme song indicating the pair now "love and share".
Title pun: Remember the Alamo
Simpsons episode: "Every Man's Dream"
Synopsis: Scratchy's wife (unseen) throws him out of their house. With his suitcases, he goes to Itchy's house where Itchy and some animal friends of his are playing poker. Itchy takes the two suitcases and brings back an axe, with which he cuts Scratchy's head off. Itchy stuffs Scratchy's head with guacamole, cuts out Scratchy's tongue so a hippopotamus can use it as a beer coaster, and two pigeons are seen pecking Scratchy's eyeballs.
Title pun: Remembrance of Things Past
Simpsons episode: "The Day the Violence Died"
Synopsis: Itchy is upset after reading the newspaper saying that Scratchy has died of an illness. Scratchy comes back as a ghost to haunt Itchy. Itchy tries to stab Scratchy but the knife goes through him. Itchy sucks him up with a vacuum cleaner and blows him out into the icebox, freezing him. When Scratchy is frozen solid, Itchy chips the eyes out and uses them as ice cubes in his drink.
Title pun: Reservoir Dogs
Simpsons episode: "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious"
Synopsis: In this episode, a pastiche of the Quentin Tarantino feature film Reservoir Dogs, Itchy is seen splashing gasoline over Scratchy and cutting his ear off with a straight razor to Stealers Wheel's "Stuck in the Middle with You" (as in Reservoir Dogs).
A cartoon Quentin Tarantino appears and says, "What I'm trying to say in this cartoon is that violence is everywhere in our society; you know, it's like even in breakfast cereals, man..." At that point, Itchy sharpens his razor and chops Tarantino's head off. Itchy and Scratchy high-four and dance around Tarantino's freshly decapitated body.
Title pun: Roses are red
Simpsons episode: "The Daughter Also Rises"
Synopsis: Itchy pretends to offer Scratchy a dozen roses, but instead takes out Scratchy's heart, opens it and stuffs it with Scratchy's eyeballs, tongue and teeth. Itchy closes Scratchy's heart, ties it with Scratchy's intestines, and gives it to him. Scratchy likes the present but dies from his injuries.
Title pun: Safety Last
Shown exclusively with The Simpsons Ride
Synopsis: Scratchy is ready to run into the ride room when Itchy nails his tail to the floor, causing his skin to be ripped off like he did in the 100-Yard Gash. The loud speaker tells riders to walk when the doors open. Itchy and Scratchy place their loose articles against the ride room walls, and Scratchy bangs his head while trying to enter the vehicle, followed by Itchy banging him with a mallet. Scratchy puts his arm around his girlfriend and his hand gets close to Itchy. Annoyed, Itchy pulls Scratchy's arm outside and around the ride vehicle and closes the doors causing Scratchy's arm to be sliced off. Scratchy begins to take photographs on the ride, causing multiple giant missiles to be shot at him as no taking of photography is allowed, destroying his camera and burning off his skin. Itchy safely puts his camera in his pocket.
Title pun: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Simpsons episode: "Deep Space Homer"
Synopsis: Scratchy is eating a sandwich and riding in his spaceship. Itchy pops out of his stomach like the chestburster from Alien and tosses Scratchy into the airlock and hits the "Blow Hatch" button. Scratchy quickly dons his spacesuit before being blown out into space. Itchy emerges from the ship in an EVA pod (from 2001: A Space Odyssey) and cuts Scratchy in half using Saturn's rings (which act as a sawblade), then removes Scratchy's space helmet, causing Scratchy's head to inflate. Itchy punctures Scratchy's inflated head with a pin, causing blood to splatter everything in the scene and spell out "THE END".
Title pun: Fantasia
Simpsons episode: "Itchy & Scratchy Land"
Synopsis: Scratchy appears as a sorcerer's apprentice (like Mickey Mouse in Fantasia), brandishing an axe. He attacks Itchy, which splits him into several smaller Itchies, who attack Scratchy. Scratchy attacks again, chopping, until the Itchies are nothing more than pink powder. He sighs and accidentally inhales the powder. Inside his body, countless microscopic Itchies attack his lung cells with axes, causing him to rapidly age and turn into dust.
Title pun: Scenes from a Mall
Simpsons episode: "The Front"
Synopsis: Scratchy is shopping at a mall and uses an escalator. Itchy nails his feet to the escalator and gets caught in it and gets his fur torn off. Itchy sells Scratchy's fur at a fur shop and a rich couple buys Scratchy's fur, which a skinless Scratchy angrily reclaims. As he leaves the mall, he is beaten by a group of PETA-like animal rights activists, furious at the sight of Scratchy wearing fur even though he is an animal.
Title pun: Sleepless in Seattle
Simpsons episode: "Bart Sells His Soul"
Synopsis: Scratchy is supposed to meet his lover at the Space Needle, but this is actually yet another of Itchy's schemes to kill Scratchy. Itchy throws down a penny but it misses Scratchy, who is lovesick for his mystery lover and oblivious to Itchy's attempted murder. Miniature souvenir Space Needles also fail to kill Scratchy; instead they form an ironic heart shape around him. Visibly annoyed, Itchy saws off the top half of the Space Needle, which hits Scratchy in the eye as he looks up. Scratchy runs around in agony with half the Space Needle stuck in his eyeball.
Title pun: Laughter is the best medicine
Station identification shown for Sky1 in the United Kingdom
Synopsis: Scratchy walks down the street and sees a painted sign on the ground reading "UNSAFE". He steps forward onto a square reading "SAFE". Due to a pun, Itchy throws a pile of safes onto Scratchy, crushing him. He is taken to the hospital where he is relieved to see a sign that seems to read "A&E" (which shows that this is a British ident—in America, the A&E, or Accident and Emergency, is called ER) - which soon turns out to be "SUPER KILLING LASER". The laser is turned on Scratchy, who appears unscathed, until the Sky1 "crystalline" logo falls down and squashes him. He stands up and finally tries to run as the logo is zapped with the laser, causing the logo to shatter into shards, slicing him into pieces.
Title pun: The Social Network
Simpsons episode: "The Ten-Per-Cent Solution"
Synopsis: Scratchy is practicing rowing in a rowing tank. Itchy attacks Scratchy, leaving him unconscious. He scoops out Scratchy's guts and we see Itchy rowing down a stream with Scratchy as the boat. A note comes up, which reads: "Scratchy sued over being turned into a canoe and won 65 million dollars. He was given a sack with a dollar sign on it, but when he opened the sack, he saw a bomb with a lit fuse. He threw the bomb out the window and got a relieved look on his face. However, the bomb landed on a trampoline held up by mice firemen, bounced back into the room, and killed him."
Title pun: "The Sound of Silence"
Simpsons episode: "Bart the Murderer"
Synopsis: Mimicking the St. Valentine's Day Massacre, various suspect cat criminals, including Scratchy, are up against a wall. Itchy, as a policeman, holds his billy club while he thinks, thumping it into the palm of his hand. He tosses the club aside, draws a "Tommy gun", and shoots Scratchy and the other cats until they all bleed heavily. Itchy pauses, and winks and spells out "THE END" with bullet holes. As Itchy makes the "D," one last cat suspect comes in and is hit and killed with the bullets for the "D," revealing "THE END" written on the wall in bullet holes with a blood-smeared "D" from the last cat suspect.
Title pun: Say Anything
Simpsons episode: "Cape Feare"
Synopsis: Scratchy walks along Itchy's Cat Hospital and looks at a sign that says "We Pay Your Pet $75". The minute Scratchy enters the hospital, Itchy reveals the sign actually says "We Spay Your Pet $75"! Two bulldogs strap Scratchy to a table and Itchy turns on the spaying mechanism — a giant laser. (he's a male though, so it's neuter instead of spay) To save himself, Scratchy has to use James Bond-like maneuvers to deactivate the machine, using his tongue to unplug it. He feels relieved, but Itchy plugs the machine in again and the laser slices Scratchy to pieces.
Title pun: Miracle on 34th Street
Simpsons episode: "Funeral for a Fiend"
Synopsis: During the Thanksgiving Day Parade, Itchy fills Scratchy up with hydrogen, turning him into a parade balloon. Itchy fires a flaming arrow at Scratchy. After ten commercials from the Krusty the Clown show which the Simpsons can ignore, thanks to TiVo, Scratchy explodes and his guts spray the street and Itchy, as a reporter, shouts, "Oh, the hilarity!", a parody of the exclamation made famous after the Hindenburg disaster by Herbert Morrison: "Oh, the humanity!" The mice Pilgrims eat a chunk of Scratchy's body.
Title pun: Steamboat Willie
Simpsons episodes: "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie" and "The Day the Violence Died"
Synopsis: First to show Itchy and Scratchy together in a 1920s style cartoon. Essentially a parody of Steamboat Willie. It starts with Itchy cheerfully piloting an anthropomorphically happy steamboat (in the Mickey Mouse role and design). Scratchy (in Pete's role) joins him blissfully. Itchy shoots Scratchy's legs off at the knees with a Tommy Gun and shoves his head in the furnace. It ends with an iris in on Scratchy's burned head and Itchy laughing at the cat's burned head.
Title pun: U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday
Simpsons episode: "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"
Synopsis: Itchy is working as a soda jerk. Scratchy comes along and orders a drink. Itchy puts Scratchy into a glass and blends him into a drink. Note: The title pun listed was used again in "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday", an actual Simpsons episode.
Title pun: The Tears of a Clown
Simpsons episode: "Little Big Mom"
Synopsis: Scratchy has recently died, and mourners (including Poochie and Itchy) visit his coffin at his funeral. Itchy is depressed and alcoholic without Scratchy, and reminisces about all the times he killed him. He notices a newspaper headline about a cloned sheep and gets an idea. He decides to make clones of Scratchy. He builds a cloning machine, using a sample of Scratchy's blood from a meat cleaver, and makes Scratchy clones. As the clones come out from the machine, Itchy kills them all using various weapons. He cannot keep up with the rate of the machine, and after getting tired of killing Scratchy by hand, he builds a killing machine and puts it next to the cloning machine. When the blood of the clones sprays out of the machine it spells "THE END" on the wall.
Simpsons episode: "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie"
Synopsis: The first Scratchy cartoon. Scratchy, in a 1920s style cartoon, walks down the street whistling while wearing a hat. He stops and tips his hat forward, rocks backwards and forwards, then continues walking.
Title pun: To Kill a Mockingbird
Simpsons episode: "Jaws Wired Shut"
Synopsis: Itchy and Scratchy and other animals in a theater's audience grow annoyed with a duck talking too loudly on his cell phone. Itchy replaces the duck's phone with dynamite, killing it. The duck is a skeleton and says "uh-oh". Itchy pulls out Scratchy's intestines to write "Please No Talking" on the screen.
Title pun: The Natural
Simpsons episode: "I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings"
Synopsis: Scratchy strikes out at a baseball game and meets Itchy who suggests he should use steroids. Scratchy hesitates as he could develop health problems and Itchy claims he could have millions of dollars. Scratchy takes them and hits a home run that goes all the way to the South Pole. Scratchy becomes famous but six years later, he is uncovered, goes to court and pleads guilty. The effects of the steroids turn Scratchy into a walking disaster and he destroys the whole courthouse. The Lincoln Monument comes to life and rips off his head then hits it for a home run. Mice paparazzi arrive to take a picture of Scratchy's head on display at the Hall of Shame podium.
Title pun: What's New Pussycat?
Simpsons episode: "Fraudcast News"
Synopsis: In an episode written and directed by C. Montgomery Burns, Scratchy is protesting outside the Nuclear Power Plant, when Itchy spears him with a forklift truck, telling Scratchy about the benefits of nuclear power, such as generating energy for the local orphanage and hospital. When Scratchy suggests that wind power is cheap and safe, Itchy chops Scratchy's head off with the blades of a wind turbine. An eagle flies into shot, looking like (and voiced by) Mr. Burns, telling viewers that "Nuclear power is your friend, and so is Monty Burns". Scratchy's head tells viewers, "Don't end up like me. Vote Republican", with Itchy saying "God Bless America!" before adding, "This cartoon was made in Korea".
Title pun: "Why Do Fools Fall in Love?"
Simpsons episode: "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show"
Synopsis: Scratchy pays Itchy for a bungee jump in the volcano, and Itchy cuts open Scratchy's belly and ties his intestines. He shoves him into the volcano, and as soon as he is about to plunge in the lava, the intestines hold on. As Scratchy sighs with relief, Itchy fills his intestines with gasoline. Scratchy tries to hold the gasoline inside, but he pops and is reduced to cinders by the lava.