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Mark Steel

@mrmarksteel Mark Steel is a stand-up comedian, radio presenter and Independent columnist. He enjoys writing his column because no one ever takes it literally. Voices

Is May’s Brexit plan the fairest? Everyone does hate it, I suppose

If only someone had pointed out to Brexit supporters at some point that the reality of leaving might result in us being worse off. Still, they’ll know for next time

Voices

Trump will definitely be open to compromises with Democrats – probably

When he makes up a story of a ‘caravan’ of dirty Hondurans heading towards the border to destroy the country, just reply: ‘With respect, Mr President, we’d like to make up that there’s only a Winnebago of dirty Hondurans’, and see if you can meet in the middle

Voices I called my son Mustard Gas so I'll never forget the war dead Mark Steel Voices Why step selling arms to the Saudis? It keeps so many people in a job Mark Steel Voices Who's to say it wasn't the Belgians who are responsible for Khashoggi? Mark Steel Voices Why not let the DUP run the whole of the British government? Mark Steel Voices Why does Theresa May deserve praise for backtracking on bad policy? Mark Steel Voices I'm not worried we're stockpiling Brexit food – if anything, I'm glad Mark Steel Voices We are so bored with Brexit we'll agree to anything Mark Steel Voices Richard Branson – have you been on a British train journey recently? Mark Steel Voices Tony Blair and Matteo Salvini: the politics of the centre we need now Mark Steel Voices Never mind Brexit, the South Africans will love us after May's dancing Mark Steel

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Voices

A Pope who wants to stop all child abuse is maybe too radical

When an institution sexually abuses children on an industrial scale, you won’t win back trust easily. You need to demonstrate you truly understand the scale of what you’ve inflicted, preferably by going without breakfast one morning

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Islamic fundamentalist Jeremy Corbyn should be ashamed of himself

Corbyn supported every gay rights campaign at a time when it was considered extremist to do so. And the way he managed to be an extremist Islamic fundamentalist and an extremist gay rights fanatic at the same time only shows how dangerous he is

Voices

The real victims of Boris's burqa remarks are the teachers at Eton

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Corbyn didn't yell at a Holocaust survivor? He must be antisemitic

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May has voted for the worst option consistently throughout her career

Voices

Any two words could describe Brexit better than ‘strong and stable’

Voices Don’t worry, Trump, we don’t abandon friends we disagree with Mark Steel Live News England v Croatia: The alternative World Cup commentary Live World Cup England v Sweden: The alternative World Cup live blog Voices May's Brexit talks at Chequers will go terribly, as they always do Mark Steel Voices The England team is like Brexit – anything is a bonus now Mark Steel Voices Anti-abortion groups could learn from the Tories’ strategy on cannabis Mark Steel

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Voices Forget the Markles – the Windsors are far worse Mark Steel Voices The House of Commons should behave more like the Iranian parliament Mark Steel Voices Why Cherie Blair should take over from Jeremy Corbyn Mark Steel Voices England can win the World Cup if we treat it like Brexit Mark Steel Voices Tories can't even nail bacon to their doors these days Mark Steel Voices Steve Bannon is right – Martin Luther King Jr would be proud of Trump Mark Steel

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Voices It's unfair to blame the Tories for the things the Tories did, OK? Mark Steel Voices Let's forgive Theresa May for Windrush – we all make mistakes Mark Steel Voices Yes, decent members of society tear up floral tributes to the dead Mark Steel Voices Who knew Corbyn's antisemitic beetroot would cause such anger? Mark Steel Voices A second referendum could be fun – the country would eat itself alive Mark Steel Voices Angry Brexiteers make me proud to be British Mark Steel Voices

Why Putin could never have afforded to poison Sergei Skripal

Voices If anything the Saudi Arabian government is just too feminist Mark Steel Voices Clever Nigel Farage knows the truth about global warming Mark Steel Voices Jeremy 'Stalin' Corbyn really does have some explaining to do now Mark Steel Voices The Florida school shooting proves we need to arm kids with guns Mark Steel Voices Cheddar man was black. It’s time for Ukip to deport white people Mark Steel Voices Watching Tory infighting is like listening to a group of Arsenal fans Mark Steel Voices

I hope feminists are happy they've ruined the Presidents Club

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Carillion proves the intelligence and efficiency of our Government

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Everything to do with the NHS is definitely going to plan

Voices There’s an art to resigning from this Government Mark Steel Voices I’m so proud of hard Brexiteers' response to the Tory rebellion Mark Steel Voices Davis admitting he has no plans for Brexit was truly Churchillian Mark Steel Voices Who are we to judge Trump's belief in a 'no-go' Britain? Mark Steel Voices Gibraltar shows how dire Brexit negotiations have become Mark Steel Voices Boris Johnson wasn't wrong about Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe Mark Steel Voices We have been too harsh on Priti Patel Mark Steel Voices 100 years since the revolution, Russia is a capitalist utopia Mark Steel

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Voices The Labour Party's got so bad even Trump and Weinstein are appalled Mark Steel Voices What's so great about the Tory strategy on Brexit Mark Steel Voices Double Take: Theresa May should spend some time on the comedy circuit Shappi Khorsandi Voices People should run through fields of nettles naked for their benefits Mark Steel Voices

Don’t feel sorry for Theresa May, even if she did struggle to the end

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Landlords are right about Corbyn's crazy proposals to control rent

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Why I'm glad the Great Yarmouth Academy has so many rules

Voices We need to hear all sides of the Grenfell story, including the fire's Mark Steel Voices Brexit shows that we're finally getting our country back Mark Steel Voices Activate – a youth group that people can finally get gassed about Mark Steel Voices Thank God for the honesty and integrity of Donald Trump Mark Steel Voices The upsides of burning in a nuclear holocaust from North Korea Mark Steel Voices Here's why Home Counties pensioners fear immigration Mark Steel Voices Thank God the Tories have never said anything about immigration before Mark Steel Voices No need to worry about the Brexit deal, Liam Fox says it's easy peasy Mark Steel

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Saudi is innocent – that's why we don't need to read the report

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Nurses and firefighters should try crowdfunding their wages

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Tories should just start rapping if they want to win the youth vote