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Best happy-ending parlors - Sex + Dating - Time Out New York

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Spas for less Previous: Water spas with day passes Next: Spa etiquette

Best happy-ending parlors

Your spa visit will end with a smile when you visit these top rub-n-tug joints.

Editor’s note: Paying for sex is illegal in New York City, so use the information below at your own risk; Time Out New York is not responsible for your safety. At each location, your mileage may vary, depending on your masseuse, your look and your behavior. The services described below are not explicitly offered at the spas, which describe themselves as legitimate massage parlors. A decent tip is usually $40. The following five have been in operation for at least two years running.

West Garden Spa
243 W 30th St between Seventh and Eighth Aves (212-244-7711, westgardenspa.com)
Cost: $100 plus tip
This superclean, two-floor complex, which looks like a legit spa inside and out, is a good place for beginners, as long as you don’t mind some chitchat: Every businessman and his client go here, and they’re not afraid to make small talk (“Have a good time, dude?” wink wink). There’s a nice gym-quality locker room, steam rooms, sauna and showers, yours to use, no rush. Then you get a table wash (often by a petite Latina woman) and are directed (by an Asian woman of the spa’s choice) into a labyrinth of private white rooms, with Lite FM music piped in. After a decent massage (“Hard or soft?”), she’ll jerk you off. Don’t touch her back, unless you want an unhappy ending.

New York Health Spa
5 W 37th St between Fifth and Sixth Aves (212-575-5600, nyhealthspa.com)
Cost: $80 plus tip
Through the lobby of an office building and around the corner from the Girl Scouts headquarters (yeesh), this downstairs Asian massage parlor appears to be furnished by Crate and Barrel, with wood-paneled floors and a fully stocked locker room (brand-name Q-tips!). The service is just as quality: You’ll get a table shower and a fine massage, followed by an unrushed rub and tug. Then get dressed in the private locker room; the best part about this place is that it keeps you away from your fellow spagoers. No chance you’ll run into Uncle Ted in the john.

Miga Spa
488 Amsterdam Ave between 83rd and 84th Sts (212-501-7750)
Cost: $70 plus tip

Getting a happy ending is more of a K-town thing—there aren’t a ton of places on the Upper West Side. But this little hideaway, in an apartment converted into a massage parlor, is good for a post-IMAX fix. The two-room space is clean enough.

My Heavenly Hands
Locations vary (646-460-0566, myheavenlyhands.com)
Cost: $120 for 30 minutes; $160 for an hour, plus tip
Also known as Latin Sun (at least in the back-page ads), this service, run by self-proclaimed college girls (but who knows), employs Hispanic and black women, a nice alternative to the usual Asian fare. The locations differ, but we’ve been to the one in a shabby apartment building near David Letterman’s Late Show studio and another in an office building—seriously, it was right next to a dentist’s office! That may spook you, but if you’re looking for something other than the usual Asian massage parlor, here you go. Cash only.

22 West Spa
13 E 37th St between Fifth and Madison Aves, second floor (212-997-2228)
Cost: $60 for 30 minutes; $80 for an hour, plus tip
Formerly called Gold Spa (and still called that by its fans, in case you wanna do some Google-researching), this is the most notorious spa in town. We’ve heard of people going in for a quick happy ending and getting a blow job (without a condom), a make-out session (while being tugged) or full-on sex. Our reporter never went that far, but he did enjoy what his health teacher once called “mutual masturbation” while a breast was in his mouth. Whatever you do, make sure the girl’s willing first—and remember, she was probably doing something similar with the dude before you. Be safe!

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Comments (22)
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Adults only, Nudity & sex January 25, 2011 Spas for less Previous: Water spas with day passes Next: Spa etiquette
Comments
I hope these LIBERAL pigs don't call the cops about these places. They think these girls are being forced to massage guys. They must be STUPID. If someone was going to force a girl against her will. It wouldn't be for a 60$ massage. So get the he'll out of here and look for a anti war demonstration or something. P.S. mind you're F'ing business PLZ! By Anonymous (not verified) on 6/21/2011 at 12:18 pm Let's not forget women's needs. The best place for a happy ending massage for us ladies in new york is http://www.herprivatepleasures.com By Rita (not verified) on 6/20/2011 at 5:11 pm Soapyshower sounds amazing... twitter.com/lanabodyrub By bollywood (not verified) on 6/19/2011 at 5:50 pm The best place is Lana's soapy shower in manhattan soapyshower.webs.com And wondergirls spa in astoria queens wondergirlsspa.blogspot.com By dude (not verified) on 6/19/2011 at 5:48 pm And now the cops sit outside these places.... And watch. By Anonymous (not verified) on 5/13/2011 at 4:48 pm MOST of the women forced to do this? Not true. While some of them might be forced to do this MOST do it for the EASY money. Belive it or not even women (Not you) like sex. Just go on a porn site and see all the young girls posting there sex with there BOYFRIENDS that they have that week. Are they being forced? And im curious,if you shut the spa down,Then what do they do to the women? Kill them? You got issues, Deal with that instead of your problem with sex. By Anonymous (not verified) on 4/29/2011 at 7:26 am Most of these women are in fact forced to provide this sexual service... which is ILLEGAL. You are in fact paying for a sexual service each time you visit places like this. By Anonymous (not verified) on 4/28/2011 at 6:45 pm If you are against happy ending massage parlors please join my mission to shut them down follow me on Twitter @HerMission. By Anonymous (not verified) on 4/28/2011 at 6:43 pm The women that made the comment about the slavery crap, Get over it, so what you cant have an orgasm and you caught your man with a tranny, its all good. especially when us men piss off a wierd dump bitch that thinks these women dont like sex like you dont. We are not paying them for sex, where paying them to LEAVE after the sex because we dont want to hear some stupid bitch like you. By Bitch seeker (not verified) on 4/28/2011 at 5:21 pm I hope all u sleazeballs who go to these places [and I've seen them b/c i worked in a building that had one...ALL kinds of men go] that you're perpetuating violence against women, and sexual slavery. If you have a mother, a daughter, a sister, a female friend, or God forbid a wife....whom you love...you are a total hyprocrit and spreading evil in the world. No, I'm not exaggerating. A lot of these girls are forced to do this gross shit. GET A LIFE, THEN MAYBE YOU'LL GET A GF WHO'LL DO IT FOR FREE. LOSERS!!!! By Anonymous (not verified) on 4/26/2011 at 9:35 pm Have an Opinion? Let's hear itComment See all comments
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